I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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