Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
