I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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