Someone shit on the floor
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
