in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
