But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
