I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
