bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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