just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize