Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
