I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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