so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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