iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
