hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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