Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just high enough for therapy.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
