their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
