my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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