Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
