tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
