yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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