my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
