Non-Jews are for practice
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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