its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
