Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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