Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
