I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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