May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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