hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
