Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
