i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
