I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
