yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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