remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
