I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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