Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
