That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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