We're like a lot better than the average bears
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
