Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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