My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
