There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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