she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
