I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
