I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
