they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
