If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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