I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
