thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
