I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
