At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Terrible idea I love it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
