A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
