If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
