Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize