sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
