have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
