How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
