Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
a search helicopter?!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
