I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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