Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
