went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
